“Being lower-middle class and from the suburbs, where poverty and pretension go together, I can see how good the middle class have it, and what a separate, sealed world they inhabit. They keep quiet about it, with reason; they feel guilty, too, but they ensure they have the best of everything, oh yes.”—Hanif Kureishi, Intimacy
If I had to state one thing I had learned from all my experiences in 2011 it would have to be that sometimes things happen naturally almost without causative intentions. Deciding to stop smoking is for me an event that has taken place with no overt causative intention. Admittedly there was a will, a drive that led me to seek assistance and guidance of some sort, but the rest just happened.
It’s day three of being smoke free, that’s 72 hours nicotine should have left my body, my breathing is supposed to improve and my energy levels are meant to increase. I however am unable to notice any of these effects because I can’t perceive past my own joy and optimism. I never thought I would feel as happy as I do to be smoke free. Today should have also been my craving peak, yet I felt nothing and I am not sure if this is down to the Champix or just…
The group sessions do help, it’s interesting to see how they are coping, how removing one nasty habit from their lives leads them to continue making progressive decisions. It’s motivating and I feel it’s more encouraging than trying to go it alone.
Today I attended my second stop smoking session, it’s really interesting to see how people are coping with it, their reasons, motivations, frustrations and so forth. I am naturally a very impulsive person and the decision to stop smoking and all the rest that has followed has pretty much been on a whim.
So here I am day 4 on Champix, a growing distaste for cigarettes and no fundamental epiphanic reason for actually wanting to quit other then I just want to. Day 10 is quit day and it’s only 6 days away…
“He would have changed the circle if he could,
The circle that was the grass track where he ran.
Twenty times a day he ran round the field
And still there was no winning post where the runner is cheered home.
Desperately he broke the tune,
But however he tried always the same melancholy crept up from the background”—Patrick Kavanagh, The Great Hunger, IV
“The realm of love, reason and justice exists as a reality only because, and inasmuch as, man has been able to develop these powers in himself throughout the process of his evolution. In this view there is no meaning to life, except the meaning man himself gives to it, man is utterly alone except inasmuch as he helps another.”—The Art Of Loving - Erich Fromm